


the only heaven I'll be sent to (is when I'm alone with you)

by twelvemorestopsandhome



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: 5x08, M/M, angsty, but also hopeful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-13 02:09:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3363851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twelvemorestopsandhome/pseuds/twelvemorestopsandhome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian knows what's going to happen next. He knows what Mickey is going to say and by the shocked look in his eye, so does Mickey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the only heaven I'll be sent to (is when I'm alone with you)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by *those* 5x08 stills. Thanks to Shannon for putting up with all my questions!

Ian is facing the wall when he feels a presence in the room again. “Debs, you really don't need-” he starts as he turns over.

 

“Hey”

 

Mickey is standing there. Seemingly grounded and steady in a way Ian can't remember him being before. His look is questioning but not accusing.

 

“Fuck, what happened your face?”

 

Mickey shrugs. “It looks worse than it is.”

 

“Well, it looks pretty bad, Mick.”

 

They stare at each other for a moment.

 

“When you weren't there this morning I thought...” Ian twists his mouth and looks away.

 

“You thought what?” Mickey prompts, still rooted to the spot.

 

“You _know_ what I thought.” Ian insists. “But I was wrong, wasn't I?”

 

Mickey nods once. “Yeah, you were wrong.”

 

Ian smiles weakly and bows his head.

 

“I have to rest apparently.” he explains when Mickey stays quiet.

 

“Oh shit right, I'll just-” Mickey gestures vaguely towards the door.

 

“...So you have to come to me.” Ian continues as she shifts slightly in the bed creating more space on the outside. Mickey doesn't understand how he can look so small in an already tiny bed.

 

There's never been balance here. Ian ran to Mickey for so long when all Mickey would do is wait on the good days and run away on all the others. But then Ian stopped running to him. Ian ran in the other direction and Mickey ran to him again and again.

 

And so it takes no effort at all to make the two steps to Ian's bed.

 

Maybe one day they'll meet in the middle.

 

He strips his hoodie as he goes, dropping blindly on the floor. Ian shifts again attempting to create room that isn't there. But they've fit comfortably on the bed before and there's no reason they can't now.

 

Mickey has just settled along side him, foreheads pressed together, when Ian places the tips of his fingers gently on Mickey's bruised cheekbone. Mickey's face contorts in a moment of pain causing Ian to pull away.

 

“Sorry” he whispers.

 

_you should be_

 

_for what?_

 

_don't be_

 

_stop saying that_

 

But Mickey stays silent.

 

“Why aren't you saying anything?” Ian's voice is just above a whisper.

 

“I don't know what to say.”

 

“I really fucked us up, huh?” It comes out as an aborted laugh.

 

“We were always fucked up.” Mickey corrects him. “Don't take all the credit. You're gonna stay here?”

 

“I think I have to.”

 

Mickey opens his mouth to say he doesn't _have_ to do anything.

 

“I want to.” Ian amends and it hurts to say and to hear but only as much as it should.

 

Mickey nods and doesn’t mention the empty house. Doesn't mention that everyone's left. Left him.

 

“I think this is the longest we've been in this room without being walked in on.” Mickey muses. It's probably not true but he says it anyway.

 

“And we're not even putting the time to good use.” Ian shakes his head and gives a little teasing “tut” for good measure.

 

“I dunno” Mickey mumbles as he places his hand on Ian's elbow and runs his thumb against the skin there. “this feels like a good use of time to me.”

 

Ian knows what's going to happen next. He knows what Mickey is going to say and by the shocked look in his eye, so does Mickey.

 

It's the perfect opportunity except it isn't at all so before Mickey has a chance to open his mouth, Ian opens his.

 

“Don't say it. Not yet.”

 

There's a flash of recognition in Mickey's eyes before he narrows them. “Say what? That I'm seconds away from fall off this fucking tiny bed?”

 

Laughter escapes from Ian almost violently and it sounds nothing like it has for last few months. “Come here then.” He pulls Mickey closer, wrapping his arms around him. “Just” he exhales, searching for the words “hold on.”

 

_Just hold on_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me over on tumblr at [micklanamilkovich](http://micklanamilkovich.tumblr.com/)


End file.
